a serious post about reflection...forwarned.

pretend im wearing makeup...me and the boys!

do you ever find yourself sitting, for a moment, in the quiet, and thinking about how life seems to literally be flying by you. not only in the sense that it seems to go much faster than we'd prefer but the small things that have been changing are quickly adding up to large shifts? and then youre all shaken up because well, you just realized what your life really looks like!

for me, lately, you might think ive fallen in the abyss that is a new baby, which is true- we have, but, we have also vacationed and a few other things (with no photographic evidence because i forgot my camera in the car like a dummy). BUT (waiting for that but, werent you) these past few weeks im looking at our life and ive realized a few HUGE things that i thought id share...

1- dont start reproducing at 20 years of age. it WILL make you feel much wiser with subsequent children. it will also make you feel like you may or may not have majorly screwed up your first child.
2- keeping friendships is hard. ( i feel no need to expand on that, pretty straightforward)
3- i am not the best at putting forth the best effort for said friendships
4- each of my children have shown me something different about myself;
     jackson- that i was young and selfish and that maybe, just maybe, having to take care of and put someone else first was the best thing that ever happened to me. (it definitely was)
     campbell- my sweet girl has shown me how to love in a way i never knew before. and that the life i am given is nothing close to average. i would go on but words actually seem to escape me. my little girl, i love you.
     carrick- how blessed i am. and i really dont like saying that word. it always sounds so trite and a little snobby but really, this baby, hmm i am so so thankful, more thankful than you could ever imagine, that he is home with us and that he is healthy and everyday i get to hold him and kiss him and watch him smile at me.

5- and then i realized that im an adult. (whooooooa! haha) and that if my feelings get hurt but i say nothing, no one is going to save me. and no one is going to speak for me- i do that now for my kids.

and then, as i was thinking, it hit me- i have kids. with an s! multiple children! and im 24! how have 4 years of my life flown by?!

has this recently happened to you? has your life been truckin along and you took a nap on the road?!


  1. i was JUST thinking this today and said to ashley at work that i can't believe how fast life is going bye!

    i have a REAL job.. so strange and i seriously canNOT believe that you and jeff are about to have a four year old.. it really feels like it wasn't that long ago that i was over at your house cooking dinner with you and hanging out with everyone making bonfires in your back yard :) we had so much fun. ah! i miss you!

  2. kathleen this just made me cry a little bit. beautiful.