nurse michael.

im sure jeffrey will love this, but michael was standing right there, so i feel like he is a part of it.

since we are only (still?) 13 1/2 weeks away from having our second little broseph, ive been thinking a lot about the c-section and how its going to go. and of course, ive been thinking a lot about Campbell. gosh i miss her so much. lately though, i like to remember every detail from the hospital. and yesterday as jeffrey and i were talking about our sweet girl, i remembered my l&d/op/post op nurse, michael.

do you ever look back on a situation and see how perfectly God has things planned? thats how i see michael.

it was his last week in l&d at tmh. he was going to a 9-5 job at a dermatology office. from helping bring life in to the world to sampling moles. he seemed relieved though. his family missed him and he was tired. im sure his family did miss him, but i am so so thankful that he was there for us.

nurse michael walked with me in to the operating room, while jeffrey had to wait. he let me hug his waist and shake with fear while the anesthesiologist gave me my epidural. he massaged my fingers for me when i couldnt feel my arms. he brought me and extra blanket when i couldnt stop shivering. he brought my husband in the second he was allowed. he told me i was doing great. after surgery, he told me he was praying for us, for our sweet girl, and he fed me ice chips. he held my barf bag for me when i then lost those ice chips, moments later.

michael was the best nurse we could have asked for. since he was a guy, he instantly put jeffrey at ease and also made me feel a little safer when hubs couldnt be beside me.

i wonder if he knew right away that Campbell was trisomy 18. i think everyone knew, to be honest. but they arent allowed to say what they "think" only what they know.

needless to say, having a c-section now for every baby that we want to have, isnt a dream come true, but its our reality. and i wont lie, im pretty terrified because going in, fully aware and not in labor pain or anything, its not fun folks. but ive seen how God provides, even when you dont see it and i am praying, begging, for wonderful nurses and people at the hospital again. we already love our doctors, so so far, so good.

also, ive been trying to not make this pregnancy all about sadness because it certainly is a happy time and we are beyond thrilled for this little boy. but it has been hard. it feels like another big step away from Campbell and ive been really ridiculously emotional. so there it is.