im not sure why or how, but since monday i have been overcome by this certain summery, hazy, glowy calm happiness. its been so hot, and usually that in itself is enough to make me crumple on the bed in tears, but not this week. ive been perfectly content hanging out inside with jbear, walking early, driving to starbucks, doing laundry, nesting (jeffrey and i both are- he has cometed BOTH bathrooms and just "felt the urge to mop the house" on tuesday) and making bridges, slides and forts out of boxes.
have you noticed that in june, the sun changes? yes, i know it sets later and is hotter but there is something distinctly summer about it. its hazier, more orange and less yellow in the light it gives off. its nostalgic. however much a sun can be nostalgic. though, i guess its been around forever so it does hold a lot of memories. okay, i could go on a strange tangent here... BUT what im saying is that listening to oldies while driving to publix with jbear, has never seemed slower or more pleasant.
and im ready. im ready for this baby boy to come out and meet us. for us to meet him. im not anxious, im not nervous (okay, i am a little), im just ready. and thankful. my heart-my soul- is at peace. i am okay. and thats not to say that sadness and loss and a never ending grief still dont live in there, but they arent overtaking me right now. and that, thats been a long time coming.
photo via pinterest