she is precious. she opened her eyes when they let me see her,
i think to let me know she knew i was her mommy.
today i hate my life. today i dont care about anything. today my baby girl would be two weeks old. instead, she is dancing with Jesus. and her tiny, precious little body is resting in a white box. the past two weeks have been the most surreal weeks of my life and i have never felt more detached from reality and from the person that i was just 14 days ago.
mommy misses you more than you will ever know. more than you would be able to imagine. the 6 days we had with you were some of the most special days of my life and everyone who got to meet you or know about you, misses you and knows what a special girl you were. i know that right now you are running and smiling and nothing hurts anymore. you can take a deep breath and you will never be hungry again. i take great comfort in that and i cannot wait for the day when i can see you again.
today one of my friends had her baby girl. i feel like i died all over again when she told me. i am a horrible friend.
this blog may return to what it once was. or at least along those lines. but for now, bear with me as my (and my husbands and our family's) sorrow will often be expressed here. it has taken new form, as Campbell Joye Insalaco has with her Heavenly Father, and as i have, as a mother who has lost her baby girl.